‘I’d rather enjoy joy of solitude than be trapped in a marriage that doesn’t bring fulfillment’: Shenaz Treasury

If you are a ’90s kid, there is very little chance that you have not heard about Shenaz Treasury, or watched her play your favourite music on the TV as a video jockey.

Over the years, she also featured in numerous advertisements, films like Ishq Vishk, Hum Tum, and Delhi Belly, and is one of the most successful travel vloggers today.

Expanding her portfolio, Shenaz Treasury has now come up with her debut book — All He Left Me Was a Recipe (Penguin Random House) — which is a “never-ending pursuit of love, a quest for the ever-elusive ‘Mr Right,’ all while kissing the ‘Mr Maybes’”.

Talking about her book in detail, the actor-vlogger also opened up about her career, falling in (and out of) love, her ideal partner, the perks and perils of social media and why she would have been a billionaire if there had been social media when she started her career. Read the edited excerpts below:

Q: Tell us about your journey from a VJ, to an actor, to a travel creator, and now an author

Shenaz Treasury: People say I keep switching careers, but I say they are all the same thing. I am a storyteller; that is my calling. So, the transitions, back and forth, are really easy and flow like water. That’s all I ever wanted to do, tell stories. It is something I can do on stage, TV, Instagram, YouTube, movies and as a writer — the medium is not as important as the story.

Q: What inspired you to write a book about your ex-boyfriends or relationships?

Shenaz Treasury: I see so many young girls and boys being so upset after a break-up. I see people losing hope and getting jaded and cynical, too. So, I wanted to write a book about hope and showcase that the end of a relationship is not the end of the world.

After one chapter ends, another one begins; sometimes an even more exciting one. And it’s the endings that make us who we are! I wouldn’t be this marvellous, confident and humble woman (winks) if not for all my ex-boyfriends. I have them to thank for who I am today!

This book is about celebrating your exes. They are not to be hidden or thought of as awful. They are a part of your history and even though you may have broken up badly, they also gave you joy and excitement and made your world rock. People always celebrate the beginnings of relationships, but I want to celebrate the end too. That’s why after every chapter I have footnotes of “lesson learned”, “three thank you’s and a sorry” and “where is he now?”

 

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Q: The book is part fiction; but what percentage of it is fact? How did you decide/tread this bit?

Shenaz Treasury: All writers take from their lives and embellish it. That’s what I’ve done.

Q: While writing the ‘facts’, how challenging was it to share a personal part of you with the world at large?

Shenaz Treasury: It’s not challenging at all because I wrote in the third person. I am writing about a girl and her many relationships from when she was four to 40. Now, it’s up to you to guess what’s fact and what’s fiction.

Q: In an earlier AMA session, you shared that you often fail to see red flags in relationships and have fallen in love 23 times. Are you still willing to ignore the warning signs and be vulnerable for the sake of love?

Shenaz Treasury: I think I’m attracted to a little bit of a bad boy, who has to have some swag. That’s why there’s a chapter in my book: “Do we love bad boys because they free us from the pressure of being good girls?” All other chapters start with a question, too.

It’s 22 (the number of times I have fallen in love), and that’s the number of chapters in my book. Some men come back into her life so it’s not an exact number. There’s a line in my book: “Do our past mistakes make us wiser or do they just put fear in us?” Fear and love don’t go together, do they? You have to be fearless to love. I see the red flags but like a moth to a flame, I find myself drawn to the passion and the promise of romance even when reason whispers in my ear to tread carefully. You tell me, are these red flags just illusions, or are they the markers of potential heartbreak waiting in the wings?

(Photo: Penguin Random House)

Q: What is the most important lesson your past relationships have taught you?

Shenaz Treasury: Each breakup has taught me something valuable. Hence, I have too many lessons; and that’s why I wrote a book. The book is about lessons from my breakups. The recipe is a metaphor for lessons. I’ve learned about the importance of talking things out, setting boundaries, and finding the right balance between passion and stability. I’ve contemplated my relationship spectrum, which varies from healthy to unhealthy to toxic. Every experience, good or bad, has helped me understand myself and love a little better.

Q: How would you describe love; and what is your definition of an ideal partner?

Shenaz Treasury: What I truly desire in a partner is someone who is not just a lover, but also a friend — a companion who embraces my quirks and challenges me to grow. I want to do the same for him. I seek someone with a passion for life, who shares my love for exploring the world and adventure. I crave a deep connection built on trust, respect, and support — a love that feels like coming home but also romantic and passionate and sexy! But I am well aware that you don’t get everything in one person!

So, the top 3 things are:

*Physical chemistry

*Someone who has my back and vice versa

*Safety (that I can be myself)

Q: Being a single woman after a certain age is something, unfortunately, still frowned upon in our country. Have you ever found yourself in such a situation? How do you navigate the same?

Shenaz Treasury: There’s one thing I love about me — I am so grateful for this characteristic, or I would never have done anything in life — that I do not care what people think about me. And yes, every day I get to hear comments like – get married now etc. and they make me chuckle. I am entertained by these comments. I love my life. I’d rather enjoy the joy of solitude than find myself trapped in a marriage that doesn’t bring fulfillment.

Being single allows me the freedom to explore my passions, nurture my friendships and focus on my own growth and happiness. Also, being single gives me the freedom to walk out of a relationship that isn’t working. Marriage is so final. It scares me! And a relationship should enhance my life, not define it.

 

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Q: You started your career with a profession that no longer exists. Do you miss those days? How do you think your career graph would have looked had you started out in the age of social media?

Shenaz Treasury: Oh my God! If they had social media in the 90s, I would have been a billionaire (smiles). But I also may be pretty messed up because social media comes with its share of negatives and I don’t know if I could handle it in my 20s. I think the content creators are the new VJs, aren’t they?

Q: You are extremely raw and honest on social media. Does it ever draw criticism?

Shenaz Treasury: Nope. On the contrary, I think that’s why I am successful on social media. Who wants to see another made up face twirling in a pretty dress or posing in a G-string? In a world of fakeness and filters, I want to stand out as naked and real. It’s in being genuine that I find true connection with others. I will never be that perfect woman and I am not going to pretend to be her :).

Q: How do you process/deal with the negativity that social media is known for?

Shenaz Treasury: I’ve been blessed. I get a lot of positivity in my comments section. But yes, I do get tired of looking at my phone. But now that it’s my job, there’s no escape!

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