Anushka Sharma talks about the pressure of being a ‘perfect parent’: What couples can do to support each other while raising children

Virat Kohli and Anushka Sharma welcomed their second child, Akaay, in February and have been spotted spending time in London in the last few months. 

Recently, the Pari actor was spotted arriving in Mumbai for a brand meet-and-greet event where she opened up about parenting. Talking at the event, Anushka said, “There is so much pressure to be like this perfect parent. We are not perfect parents, we will complain about things, and it is okay to admit it to them also. So they know that you are flawed. Imagine kids having to live up to, ‘Oh my parents are like this’. So owning your mistakes makes (it easier).”

Today, especially with the advent of social media, parents are often held to unrealistic standards. As such, Anushka Sharma’s honesty highlights that parenting is not about perfection but about mutual support, understanding, and continuous learning.

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, agrees and says, “Parenting is a full-time job, even if it isn’t always recognised as such. It involves various stakeholders, including primary caregivers (parents and grandparents) and secondary caregivers (nannies, other relatives, etc.).”

Practicing mindfulness and self-care is essential for maintaining life satisfaction (Source: Freepik)

Effective ways couples can support each other emotionally and practically

To support each other effectively during this journey, Khangarot says, parents can consider the following strategies:

Set Clear Ground Rules: Define and divide responsibilities so both partners are clear on their roles in caring for the newborn. This helps distribute the workload and prevents one parent from bearing all the responsibilities.

Foster a Team Mindset: Couples should remember that they are a team facing challenges together, not opponents in conflict. Keeping this mindset helps in overcoming obstacles and strengthens their partnership.

Prioritise Communication: Effective communication, both verbal and non-verbal, is essential. Having a non-judgmental space to share feelings can strengthen the relationship and create a nurturing environment for the child. Since children often learn communication by mirroring their parents, a healthy relationship model is crucial.

Schedule Regular Date Nights: Amid the demands of daily life, it’s easy for a relationship to take a back seat. To maintain connection and emotional intimacy, set aside time each week for activities that you both enjoy, such as dinner, a movie, or a walk. This helps to reconnect and reinforces the bond between partners.

Managing stress and anxiety

Khangarot mentions, “Recognising the signs of burnout is crucial for young parents, as emotional fatigue and burnout are real challenges. Parents may find themselves or their partners feeling low, cranky, irritable, or stressed. It is important to identify and address these signs to prevent conflicts and resentment.” 

Practicing mindfulness and self-care is essential for maintaining life satisfaction, she adds. Each individual should incorporate daily habits that provide personal fulfillment, such as a quick workout, unwinding with a close friend, or engaging in any activity that rejuvenates them. 

Additionally, setting boundaries and seeking support from others is vital. Parenting involves multiple stakeholders, and no one person is solely responsible for a child’s growth and development. 

“It is perfectly acceptable to reach out to loved ones for help when needed. Moreover, establishing psychological boundaries — an invisible line drawn to protect one’s emotional well-being — is important for maintaining a balanced and healthy relationship,” suggests Khangarot. 

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