Add ‘tinsel’ to your X-mas trees and not your relationships. Here’s why

Remember the ‘shiny, cheerful veneer’ of tinsel used to decorate Christmas trees? Thanks to Gen Z and its obsession with labelling every feeling and phenomenon, except probably their own relationships (read: situationships) — this classic X-mas decor is now associated with a dating term. Coined by relationship expert and founder of Wingman, Tina Wilson, ‘tinselling’ is the latest phrase added to our dating vocabulary.

According to Wilson, ‘tinselling’ refers to the way couples often try to bury their true feelings during the festive season, much like the metallic decoration covers up any gaps or rough patches of the Christmas tree.

“They (couples) choose to maintain a facade of harmony and togetherness, all while overlooking unresolved problems in the relationship,” she told the New York Post.

Wilson described this as a “deliberate decision” made by couples to put off their relationship woes until the festivities are over in the New Year, with January being the period partners “need to sit down and chat about their relationship” — a possibility of a breakup on the cards as they seek a fresh start.

“Warning signs of being in a tinselling relationship are noticing their partner being overly full of the Christmas spirit, presents and joy galore…but if you want to talk about anything serious, they will always say let’s talk after Christmas or push it off,” Wilson said.

But why is this toxic? After all, reveling in the festivities without needing to worry about life’s problems is something most of us are guilty of doing.

Are you guilty of ‘tinselling’? (Source: Freepik)

Sidhharrth S Kumaar, a relationship coach at NumroVani, tells indianexpress.com that this false bliss that results from this surface-level contentment can undermine partner trust. “If ‘tinselling’ turns into a habit, it creates a standard for averting confrontation and repressing feelings. This may obstruct constructive dialogue and cause the couple to become dissatisfied over time.”

Additionally, stress to keep up a flawless holiday persona might make pre-existing issues worse, causing relationship duress to increase.  “This shallowness leads to the erosion of authentic and genuine emotional bonds existing in a relationship and hampers it in the longer run,” Kumaar explains.

Mental health and relationship expert Aashmeen Munjaal says that ‘tinselling’ is one of the most detrimental trends of this year as can lead to an increase in divorce cases and the gradual waning of relationship commitment until the point of breakdown. 

She advises couples to speak openly to their partner instead of concealing issues. “Being clear and candid with your partner about your feelings may help lay a stronger foundation for the new year.”

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