Ranbir Kapoor says he ‘stopped crying very early on’: Know what happens when you don’t cry for a prolonged period

Animal actor Ranbir Kapoor recently opened up about his not having cried in a very long time. 

In a recent episode of the podcast ‘WTF is with Nikhil Kamath’, he revealed, “I stopped crying very early on. I didn’t even cry when my father passed away. When I was spending the night at the hospital, the doctor told me, ‘This is his last night, he is going to go anytime soon,’ I remember going up to the room and had a panic attack. I didn’t know how to express myself, there was too much happening that was to take. But I don’t think I have grieved, understood the loss.”

Kapoor’s father, veteran actor Rishi Kapoor, was diagnosed with leukemia (blood cancer) and battled it for over two years. He passed away in April, 2020 following a long treatment process in New York. 

Kapoor added, “You are also brought up a certain way where you’re told, ‘Now you are responsible’ and then certain things play on your mind. I have my mother, sister, wife, a child and my father passes away… Can I show my weakness? I don’t know what it is, but I just didn’t show it.”

Crying is a natural human response to a range of emotions, not limited to sadness but also including frustration, joy, and even relief. It serves as an important emotional release mechanism, helping to regulate stress and process intense feelings. 

When individuals suppress this natural response over prolonged periods, as Kapoor suggests he has done, it can have significant psychological and physiological consequences. 

Why do we cry?

Gurleen Baruah, occupational psychologist and executive coach at That Culture Thing, says, “Crying is something we all do, right from childhood. It’s a natural response to a wide range of emotions. Whether it’s tears of joy or sadness, crying happens during both positive and negative experiences.”

Psychological Reasons

1. Self-Soothing: Crying can help us calm down and feel better when emotions are running high. Many people feel relieved or lighter after a good cry, like pressing a reset button on their feelings.
   
2. Seeking Support: Tears can signal to others that we need help or comfort. Showing vulnerability through crying can strengthen social bonds and invite empathy and support from those around us.
   
3. Non-Verbal Communication: Sometimes, tears speak louder than words. When we can’t find the right words to express our feelings, crying can convey our need for support or our emotional state.
   
4. Processing Emotions: Crying helps us deal with intense emotions. It’s a way to release feelings of sadness, frustration, joy, or relief, helping us manage and process our emotions.

Crying triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers (Source: Freepik)

Physiological Reasons

1. Stress Relief: Emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones and other substances. Crying can help release these, potentially detoxifying the body and reducing stress.
   
2. Endorphin Release: Crying triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, and ‘feel-good’ hormones. This can help alleviate both emotional and physical pain
   
3. Parasympathetic Activation: Crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps the body relax and digest. This calming effect can help soothe us after crying.
   
4. Pain and Stress Relief: Tears can release oxytocin and endorphins, which help to relieve pain and stress, providing a natural way to soothe ourselves.
   

Potential mental health consequences of suppressing or not expressing emotions through crying

Suppressing or not expressing emotions, especially through crying, can have significant mental health consequences, says Baruah. Here are some potential consequences:

Increased Irritability: Suppressing emotions can lead to increased irritability and frustration. When emotions aren’t expressed, they can build up, leading to unexpected outbursts or ongoing irritability.

Feelings of Guilt and Shame: Not expressing emotions might result in feelings of guilt or shame. You may feel that you’re not grieving correctly or that something is wrong with you for not being able to cry.

Emotional Numbness: Continually suppressing emotions can result in emotional numbness, where you find it difficult to feel or express any emotions at all, both positive and negative.

Physical Symptoms: Unexpressed emotions can manifest physically, leading to issues such as headaches, digestive problems, and fatigue. The body often holds onto stress, and without release, it can impact your physical health.

Mental Health Disorders: Prolonged suppression of emotions can contribute to the development of mental health disorders like depression and anxiety. These conditions can arise from unprocessed emotions that weigh heavily on your mind.

How to cope

It’s perfectly normal if you find it hard to cry or express your emotions – crying isn’t something you can force. Instead, the focus should be on how you acknowledge, accept, and process your feelings. For those who struggle with emotional expression, self-reflection, journaling, psychotherapy, meditation, physical activity and healthy lifestyle choices can significantly help.

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