Kareena Kapoor says Saif Ali Khan has ‘taken me for granted’; Expert advice for couples feeling unappreciated

In a recent candid interview, actor Kareena Kapoor Khan opened up about her marriage to Saif Ali Khan, revealing a common issue that many couples face — feeling taken for granted.

In an interview with The Week, she made some lighthearted comments about the dynamics of their relationship. She said, “He has not seen Crew. Can you believe it? Because he’s been shooting. But I have to see all his films. And I am like ‘I have to because I have to’; so in that sense he has just taken me for granted.”

She continued, “We surely fight over the AC temperature because Saif wants 16 degrees Celsius, because he is feeling hot all the time and I am like, ‘Saif’ and he is like ‘I know people have got divorced because of AC temperature’. So he wants 16 and I want 20, and he’s like let’s settle for 19, which is not too bad. And every time Karisma comes home and we are having dinner, Lolo slyly changes the temperature to 25 and Saif is like, ‘God! Thank God I am married to Bebo because at least she settles for 19.”

As such, maintaining healthy communication and appreciation is crucial in long-term commitments such as marriages. We get an expert to share advice on how couples can address any issues and strengthen their bond.

Common signs that one partner feels unappreciated in a marriage

Anuradha Gupta, founder and CEO, Vows For Eternity, says, “When you feel unappreciated in your marriage, you might start pulling away, stop being affectionate, or get irritated easily. You might clam up or start nitpicking your partner. You could also seek attention elsewhere or lose interest in shared activities.”

To catch these signs early, she mentions, talk to each other often and notice if your partner’s behaviour changes. Make sure you both feel safe sharing your feelings. Pay attention to how often you are arguing or if one of you is always on their phone when you are together.

Thank your partner for small things they do as it helps your partner feel seen (Source: Freepik)

Importance of communication in a marriage

Communication is key, especially when you feel taken for granted. Listen without interrupting and avoid using an accusatory tone, say “I feel that..” instead of “You always…” to communicate your feelings better. 

Thank your partner for small things they do as it helps your partner feel seen, says Gupta. “Try having a weekly check-in to discuss any issues or changing priorities. Learn to compromise and find solutions together. Do not assume your partner can read your mind — be clear about your needs, expectations and changing roles.”

Role of mutual appreciation in maintaining a healthy relationship

Gupta notes, “Appreciating each other keeps your relationship healthy. When you feel valued, you are more likely to work on your relationship.” Show appreciation by saying thanks for specific things, leaving nice notes, doing small favours, and noticing your partner’s efforts. Make this a daily habit, not just for birthdays or anniversaries. 

Learn your partner’s love language and use it. Celebrate each other’s achievements, big and small. Surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures that show you have been paying attention to their likes and needs.

Some effective ways to initiate a conversation when one partner feels unappreciated

If you want to talk about feeling unappreciated, Gupta suggests, pick a calm moment. “Do not blame your partner. Start with something good about your relationship, then explain how certain things make you feel. Give examples.” 

Ask your partner to help find solutions. Listen to their side too. Remember, you are trying to make your relationship better, not win a fight. Be ready to examine your own behaviour as well. Suggest specific actions that would make you feel more appreciated. If the conversation gets heated, take a break and come back to it when you’re both calm, explains Gupta.

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