Parents often call you by your sibling’s name? This is why

Have you ever been called by your sibling’s name, even as an adult, by your parents? Or maybe you’ve accidentally called your friend by your co-worker’s name. No, it’s not because your parents love your sibling more; or you’re obsessed with work. So why does this happen, especially with people we know best? An Instagram reel, we stumbled upon endeavoured to explain; and piqued our interest in the phenomenon even more.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not always a sign of forgetfulness or a lack of attention. Psychology offers some fascinating explanations for these “Freudian slips,” as they’re sometimes called.

 

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According to Dr Mazher Ali, consultant psychiatrist, CARE Hospitals, Banjara Hills, Hyderabad, our brains store information about the people we know in a complex network. This network, known as the Mental Semantic Network, connects names, faces, personalities, and our relationships with those individuals.

Sometimes, when retrieving someone’s name, other closely associated information gets triggered, leading to a slip. For example, if you’re thinking about your sibling’s recent achievement while trying to remember your parent’s name, their name might inadvertently pop out.

The science behind love and misnaming our loved ones

Research by cognitive scientist Samantha Deffler adds another layer to the story. Her study published in the journal Memory and Cognition suggests that misnaming can be influenced by our emotional state. Parents who call their children by a sibling’s name might be subconsciously reflecting on a time with another child or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenthood.

Here’s what happens in your brain (Source: Freepik)

Importantly, Dr Ali emphasised that this doesn’t necessarily indicate negative emotions towards the misnamed child. Rather, it could be a temporary emotional connection that triggers the wrong name.

Deffler’s research even found a surprising link between misnaming and love! People in romantic relationships sometimes call their partner by a relative’s name, suggesting the brain might categorise loved ones within the same emotional “pond” in the Mental Semantic Network.

Beyond family: The group effect

Misnaming isn’t limited to family. The study also found that our brains categorise people within social groups. If you have friends with similar-sounding names, like “Tob” and “Toby,” you might accidentally mix them up due to the phonetic similarity.

While a misnaming can be a bit jarring, Dr Ali assured us that it’s usually a harmless glitch in our cognitive processes or a reflection of our emotional state.

It’s important to remember that the misnaming might not be about you at all. If someone you care about accidentally calls you by the wrong name, a little understanding and humor can go a long way. After all, science tells us it might even be a sign of affection!

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