18 subtle red flags to look out for in a relationship

Embarking on a new romantic relationship is a thrilling journey filled with excitement and hope. However, it’s essential to navigate this landscape with a discerning eye, being attuned to potential warning signs that may indicate an unhealthy dynamic.

Recognising red flags early on is crucial for building a foundation of trust, respect, and emotional well-being. Let us explore key indicators that may signal potential issues in a relationship, empowering individuals to make informed decisions about their romantic endeavours.

Anu Rajgarhia, psychologist, Mpower, noted the importance of understanding that “one or two isolated instances do not constitute a red flag. It is only when the same unhelpful behaviour happens repeatedly that it is considered cause for concern.”

“When awareness sets in, the partners have the choice to change and be cognisant of the habits that are not helpful in the relationship.” (Source: Still from ‘500 Days of Summer’)

How can you recognise subtle red flags in a relationship/partner?

The following are some indicators of red flags in a relationship:

1. If any of the partners attempts to control or restrict the other person’s decisions, friendships.
2. Demeans, belittles and dismisses the other person’s opinions, needs, feelings.
3. Has no respect for the partner’s boundaries and violates them without thought.
4. Finds fault with most of the actions, and decisions of the partner. Criticises the partner to control or manipulate.
5. The partner does not find it safe to express his/her needs, and feelings as the other puts him/her down immediately. As a result,they are never able to have important conversations.
6. Unresolved conflicts leading to a pattern of arguments repeatedly without any way to move ahead.
7. Lying, being evasive and not being transparent about his/her aspects of life.
8. Excessive jealousy and always distrusts the partner without valid reason.
9. Any form of abuse – verbal, physical, or emotional.
10. Does not stand by/support the partner during challenging times.
11. Belittles the partner’s achievements.
12. Threatening or manipulating the partner using guilt or shaming.
13. Emotionally or otherwise pressurising the partner to do things.
14. Oversharing too early in the relationship.
15. One partner feels he/she is doing a lot of giving in the relationship. Relationships are about give and take.
16. One partner is very dependent on the other. Or one partner tries to create excessive dependency.
17. If the relationship feels stuck – like it is not having any direction.
18. One of them can’t seem to hold onto a job.

Rajgarhia added that red flags need not always be a deal breaker. “When awareness sets in, the partners have the choice to change and be cognisant of the habits that are not helpful in the relationship.”

If they show the willingness to change, agree to take help in changing [in case they can’t do it by themselves], and are committed to working towards building a strong relationship, then the relationship can be saved.

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