Farhan Akhtar on how growing up in an interfaith, non-religious household shaped his values; is this the right parenting style?

Growing up in a home without a specific religious affiliation can shape a person’s perspective in unique ways. For some, it means navigating a world of diverse beliefs with an open mind, developing values based on experiences and reasoning rather than doctrine. 

In an episode of a podcast hosted by journalist Faye D’Souza on her channel, actor and director Farhan Akhtar, reflected on how this upbringing in an interfaith home influenced his worldview, encouraging a spirit of inclusivity and critical thought.

He spoke about his father, Javed Akhtar, who raised him without forcing him to follow a religion and encouraged him to question everything. “When you are raised without a religion, you automatically question everything. He never told us not to believe in God, we just imbibed what we saw. It was more about questioning things and trying to apply logic or scientific evidence to things. Those things are important because something has to be provable before you can say that it is a fact otherwise it is a theory. Billions of people get by on faith and it is strange the comfort the people who have faith have, it is very difficult for people who don’t have faith to get that,” he told D’Souza.

He also shared his childhood experiences celebrating different festivals. He said, “As a kid festivals were the best thing to come of religion because you had a fun time with your friends and got the best thing to eat. My mum and we celebrated each festival at home — Holi, Diwali, Eid, Christmas — and each festival was celebrated with as much fanfare. I think festivals are more cultural than religious. It’s like you are celebrating a culture and that’s an amazing thing (sic).”

Without the guidance of a singular religious framework, individuals often cultivate their own set of beliefs, drawing from multiple philosophies and ideas. This can lead to a stronger emphasis on empathy, open-mindedness, and the ability to question norms.

Ontologist, mental health and relationship expert, Aashmeen Munjaal, agrees that growing up without a specific religious belief can influence a child’s development of values and morals in several ways. “Without a set religious doctrine, children might cultivate stronger critical thinking skills and create their own moral guidelines. They may also become more open to different perspectives and develop greater empathy for others,” she says. 

However, they might miss out on the community and shared values that religious upbringing often provides, Munjaal notes. Nonetheless, parents can instill robust values and morals through secular approaches, such as humanist principles, cultural traditions, and personal examples, thereby helping children build a solid moral foundation.

Encouraging exploration of various philosophies and moral systems helps children understand diverse perspectives. (Source: Freepik)

Some common challenges

Munjaal tells indianexpress.com, “Individuals growing up without a defined religious identity in religiously significant societies might face challenges such as social isolation, as they may be excluded from community and cultural practices tied to religion. They might experience difficulty navigating moral and ethical discussions if their peers rely on religious frameworks for guidance. Additionally, they may encounter misunderstanding or judgment from others who view religion as integral to identity and values.”

Thinking critically and approaching diverse perspectives with empathy

Without a single prevailing belief system, individuals are often prompted to explore and assess various viewpoints, Munjaal says, leading to a more nuanced understanding of the world. “In inter-faith households, children are exposed to multiple religious traditions, fostering tolerance and understanding. Non-religious households, in contrast, may focus on scientific inquiry and humanist values, encouraging a critical approach to information.”

Strategies parents can use to foster a balanced worldview and moral compass

Parents raising children without a specific religious framework can foster a balanced worldview and moral compass by emphasising critical thinking, empathy, and ethical reasoning, states Munjaal. Encouraging exploration of various philosophies and moral systems helps children understand diverse perspectives. 

She continues, “Open discussions about values, ethical dilemmas, and current events can develop their ability to make informed decisions. Modelling positive behaviours like kindness, honesty, and respect is crucial. Additionally, exposing children to diverse cultures and viewpoints through books, experiences, and community activities can broaden their understanding and appreciation of different beliefs and values.”

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