Aamir Khan admits he missed the emotional memo as a father: Common regrets of working parents who overpass their kids’ lives

Balancing a demanding career with the responsibilities of parenthood is a challenge many parents face. For some, the pursuit of professional success can lead to missed opportunities and moments with their children that can never be reclaimed. 

In the latest episode of Chapter 2 podcast where Bollywood superstar Aamir Khan sat down for a conversation with Rhea Chakraborty, the former opened up about not giving enough time and attention to his three children. He revealed, “Ira was struggling with depression at the time, she is much better now. But then she needed me. Junaid is starting his career. He has lived his life without me. And now, perhaps he is taking the last big step in his life, towards his career. If I am not with him at this time, then what’s the point? Azad is 9 years old now. In another 3 years, he will be a teenager. His childhood won’t come back.”

He continued, “Not that I don’t have strong feelings for my kids, I feel a lot for my family. But the fact that I already had my close ones around me, I had to win over the audience. I have laughed and cried with them (fans) through my films and stories. I have given hope to people. But when Ira and Junaid were five or six years old, I didn’t know anything about their feelings then, what were their problems, what did they need then or what were their challenges. I had no idea about these things.”

Khan cried and said that he knew everything about his team and directors, and he felt very bad, describing that time as “very difficult” for him. He expressed regret that Ira and Junaid’s childhood wouldn’t return, and he could have spent a lot more time with his mother in the last 30 years, which he didn’t, lamenting that the time would never return.

Realising that time spent away from family is lost forever can bring about deep feelings of guilt and regret. However, understanding how to reconnect with your children and make up for lost time can help mend these important bonds and create a new path forward.

Children frequently know when a parent has not been there, so it is important to tell the truth about it. (Source: Freepik)

Common regrets parents express about missing important moments in their children’s lives

Psychologist Anjali Gursahaney tells indianexpress.com, “Many parents regret not being present for key milestones in their children’s lives, such as their first words, first steps, school performances, birthdays, or other special occasions. These missed moments can leave parents feeling like they’ve lost irreplaceable opportunities to bond with their children and create lasting memories.”

When children don’t receive the attention and care they need from their parents, she mentions, they can start to feel neglected and unimportant. This lack of emotional connection can impact their sense of security and attachment, leading to a widening gap between them and their parents. 

Gursahaney adds, “Over time, this distance can result in communication barriers and a strained relationship. Parents often experience deep feelings of guilt, sadness, and shame for not being as emotionally present as they wanted to be, which further complicates their relationship with their kids.”

Effective strategies for parents who want to rebuild and strengthen their relationships with their children 

Gursahaney shares the following strategies:

Don’t be dishonest: Children frequently know when a parent has not been there, so it is important to tell the truth about it. Instead of offering excuses, accept that you were not present and show genuine remorse for your absence. This will help your child understand that their feelings are valid, and that you are committed to fixing things.

Share quality time: Spend time with kids in their daily activities or do something that they like doing. It could be playing children’s favorite games, reading stories or walking around with them outside the house. The focus should be on being fully engaged as well as interested in what they care about.

Reasons for open communication: Give an environment where your son/daughter can share his/her thoughts and emotions without feeling judged upon. Active listening and empathy are crucial aspects towards building trust because they make your boy feel heard and understood.

Keep consistency: Make sure you consistently participate within those everyday important moments in life. In the long run, this can assist in rebuilding trust and strengthening the bond even through small gestures or a brief conversation every day.

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