Rhea Chakraborty on coping with pain, anxiety after Sushant Singh Rajput’s death: How to navigate grief after losing a loved one

The loss of a loved one can trigger an overwhelming array of emotions, often leading to complex feelings of grief, guilt, and self-blame. These emotions can be particularly intense when the circumstances surrounding the loss are tragic or unexpected. 

Rhea Chakraborty spoke about her struggle with depression and PTSD following the death of her boyfriend and actor Sushant Singh Rajput, in the latest episode of her podcast — Chapter 2 — featuring Aamir Khan. Chakraborty was subjected to intense media trial and public scrutiny after Rajput’s sudden death in 2020. 

Khan was quick to praise Chakraborty’s courage and resilience. He said, “What happened with you, I would call it a tragedy. The way your life changed after that, and the way you have shown patience and strength, you didn’t lose hope or faith in yourself.”

During the conversation, she spoke about going through a phase where she was very depressed. She told Khan, “It took me so long to start Chapter 2 because I was healing all this while. There was pain, anxiety, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and whatnot. And grief has a veto power over everything else. You could be talking to someone, and you get engulfed by grief out of the blue. There were some things, but today I feel that I have renewed energy. I feel like meeting people, my curiosity has been revived. There was no interest in knowing about others and their lives. There’s depression conditioning your mind. After overcoming that, now I feel like the sun is rising again. I feel like doing new things (sic).”

Navigating these turbulent emotions is not easy, and the weight of grief combined with guilt can make the healing process even more challenging. However, understanding that these feelings are a natural part of the grieving process and seeking professional help can be crucial steps in working through the pain and finding a path to recovery.

“Feeling intense guilt or self-blame after the death of a loved one is something many people experience, especially when the circumstances of the death are sudden, unexpected, or involve some form of suffering. These feelings often stem from deep psychological needs and the natural human response to loss,” notes occupational psychologist Gurleen Baruah.

Psychological factors contribute to these feelings

One major psychological factor is the desire for control, says Baruah. “When someone we love dies, especially in a way that feels preventable, our minds often try to make sense of it by thinking, ‘If only I had done something differently, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.’ This way of thinking gives us a sense of control in a situation where we feel powerless.”

Another factor is the relationship we had with the person who died. If that relationship was complicated, filled with unresolved issues or unspoken emotions, the guilt can be even more intense.  

Baruah asserts that guilt can also be a way of keeping the connection with the deceased alive. Psychologically, when we feel guilty, it’s often because we’re still trying to maintain a bond with the person who’s gone. The guilt becomes a way to continue interacting with them in our minds, keeping them close even after their death.

However, she warns that these feelings of guilt and self-blame can be overwhelming if they go unchecked. They can lead to prolonged grief and make it harder to heal. It’s important to talk about these feelings with others, whether friends, family, or a counselor, to help put things in perspective.

Talking with a therapist can help you change the negative thoughts that often come with grief, like blaming yourself or feeling guilty. (Source: Freepik)

Effective therapeutic approaches for dealing with grief, depression, and PTSD that arise after a tragic loss

When dealing with grief, depression, or PTSD after a tragic loss, several therapeutic approaches can help ease the pain and support healing. Here’s a simple breakdown of some effective methods:

Talking Therapy (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – CBT) – Talking with a therapist can help you change the negative thoughts that often come with grief, like blaming yourself or feeling guilty. CBT helps you see things more clearly and find healthier ways to cope with your emotions.

Exposure Therapy – For those dealing with trauma, such as PTSD, exposure therapy gradually helps you face the memories or situations that are causing distress. By doing this in a safe environment, it can reduce the fear and anxiety tied to those memories.

Grief-Specific Therapy – Some therapies are designed specifically for complicated grief, where the sadness doesn’t seem to lessen over time. This approach helps you process your feelings, accept the reality of the loss, and slowly start moving forward.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – This technique is especially useful for trauma. It involves guided eye movements that help the brain process painful memories, making them less intense and easier to manage.

Storytelling (Narrative Therapy) – Narrative therapy allows you to tell your story of loss, helping you make sense of what happened and find new meaning in your experience. It can also help you focus on your strengths and resilience.

Mindfulness and Acceptance – Mindfulness-based therapies teach you to stay present with your feelings without judging yourself. This can help you accept and manage intense emotions, such as guilt or sadness, in a healthier way.

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