Preity Zinta reveals why she took a six-year hiatus from acting: ‘Don’t want to be a lonely person…’

Fame and fortune often come at a price, and Preity Zinta’s recent interview has shed light on a seldom-discussed aspect of success — loneliness. The actor admitted that she was never keen on becoming an accomplished actor who was a “lonely person.” 

In an interview with DD India, she talked about the reasons behind choosing not to work in films for six years. “I didn’t want to do a film. I was focusing on business. I wanted to focus on my personal life. People forget that for women, as actors, your craft is important, you want a body of work, but you have a biological clock. I’ve never dated anyone in the industry. I’ve never dated an actor. So the logical thing was I also needed to have my own family.” 

She added, “It’s great to play various lives, but you shouldn’t forget to live your life. So I wanted to have children. Business was also exciting since it was something new. But mostly, I wanted to focus on my personal life. I really don’t want to be an accomplished actor and a lonely person.”

 

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As society increasingly idolises success and celebrates high achievers across various fields, one wonders: Is loneliness an inherent consequence of reaching the pinnacles of success?

Gurleen Baruah, organisational psychologist and executive coach at That Culture Thing says, “Firstly, the saying ‘it’s lonely at the top’ captures the essence of this phenomenon. While loneliness is not exclusive to high achievers, those who attain significant success and status often find their circle of trusted allies shrinking.”

Psychological factors contribute to loneliness among high achievers

Baruah states the four most likely psychological factors that can contribute to loneliness among high achievers:

Lack of Trust and Credibility: As individuals become more successful, they attract more people who want to associate with them. This creates a double-edged sword, as it becomes challenging to discern whether someone is genuinely interested in forming an authentic, trusting relationship or if they are motivated by the person’s status and success. This constant second-guessing can lead to isolation.

Unconscious Divide: The more someone achieves, the wider the gap becomes between their lives and those of regular people. High achievers may struggle to relate to everyday experiences, leading to a sense of disconnect. Additionally, they often face increased scrutiny, trolling, jealousy, and envy from others.

High Expectations and Pressure: High achievers often face immense pressure to maintain their level of success and meet the high expectations set by themselves and others. This pressure can lead to stress and anxiety, making it difficult to relax and connect with others on a personal level. 

Fear of Vulnerability: Successful individuals might feel that showing vulnerability could be perceived as a weakness, leading them to hide their true feelings and struggles. This fear of being judged or seen as less capable can prevent them from opening up to others and seeking the support they need.

While loneliness is not exclusive to high achievers, those who attain significant success and status often find their circle of trusted allies shrinking. (Source: Freepik)

Strategies high achievers can employ to balance their success with maintaining fulfilling personal relationships

High achievers, Baruah says, especially those in the public eye, often face immense scrutiny and criticism. “Accepting this reality and making peace with it is crucial for maintaining balance.” 

Here are some strategies to help them balance their professional success with fulfilling personal relationships:

Accept and Detach: Recognise and accept that being a high achiever and famous will inevitably attract scrutiny. Detach yourself from the role you play professionally. Understand that trolling and unnecessary criticisms from strangers are inevitable. 

Cherish Genuine Relationships: Focus on maintaining a circle of quality relationships. Identify and cherish those who genuinely care about you, such as family, childhood friends, and trusted allies.  

Self-Care Practices: Engage in regular meditation and exercise.These practices help maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and provide a sense of inner peace and stability. 

Seek Therapy: Therapy can be beneficial for high achievers as it provides a safe space to process emotions and cope with the pressures of public life. 

Ignore the Noise: Recognise that people’s comments and actions are often reflections of their own worldview. You cannot control how others think or act..

Quality Over Quantity: Prioritise the quality of your interactions over the quantity. Deep, meaningful conversations and connections are more fulfilling than superficial interactions.

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