How couples can navigate complicated family dynamics during holiday season

The holiday season is a time of celebration, joy, and togetherness. However, for many couples, it can also be a time of navigating complex family relationships. Remember that one Masi (aunt) who can’t stop talking ill about your partner, or your own nosy mother-in-law you have to entertain during festive gatherings? Or even worse that cousin who can’t help but comment on your weight? We know it sounds tough, and you might like to avoid them altogether, but couples need to have a game plan before going all in to prevent conflicts, and misunderstandings, and maintain harmony in familial relationships.

Recently, Clinton Power, an online relationship counsellor and marriage therapist, shared some practical tips to help couples overcome the challenges family dynamics can pose during the holiday season.

*Have a pre-gathering chat: Before attending family events, sit down with your partner for an open and honest conversation. Discuss any concerns or worries you both may have about the upcoming gatherings. Whether it’s navigating nosy relatives or avoiding touchy subjects, being on the same page helps you prepare for potential challenges.

*Agree on boundaries: Unity is key. Collaborate with your partner to establish boundaries for the occasion. Identify topics that might lead to tension and agree to steer clear of them during family gatherings. Whether it’s finances or job-related discussions, a unified front strengthens your approach and minimises potential conflict.

*Support each other: During the event, prioritise mutual support. If you sense your partner feeling uneasy or stressed, find subtle ways to assist them. It could be redirecting the conversation or offering a discreet exit strategy. Being each other’s ally enhances your resilience in challenging family situations.

*Plan your responses: Anticipate the common questions and comments that often surface during family gatherings. Having a strategic plan for your responses prevents you from being caught off-guard, allowing you to navigate potentially sensitive conversations with confidence.

*Take breaks: Feeling overwhelmed is natural in bustling family settings. Permit yourself to take breaks when needed. A short walk or a few minutes of fresh air can provide a valuable reset, helping you re-enter the gathering with a refreshed perspective.

*Focus on positive interactions: Steer conversations towards positivity and neutrality. Share the good news, discuss common interests, and create an atmosphere of lightness. This not only eases tension but also contributes to an enjoyable and memorable family experience.

*Debrief post-event: After the festivities conclude, set aside time for a post-event debrief with your partner. Reflect on what worked well and discuss potential improvements for future gatherings. This collaborative reflection not only strengthens your bond but also equips you both for smoother navigation of family dynamics in the future.

 

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Sidhharrth S Kumaar, a relationship coach at NumroVani, in an interview with indianexpress.com, said that festivals bring a lot of planned and unplanned happenings in life, both psychologically and financially. “Navigating the journey requires following the 3C principles i.e. Communication, Collaboration, and Couple Time.”

He added that it is pertinent to have a conversation about your worries and expectations with your partner before the event. If you are married to someone who is from a different cultural background and upbringing, it is an excellent idea to educate yourself about their culture, traditions, and customs beforehand.

“Additionally, be mindful of each other’s personal space, and don’t hesitate to refuse irrational requests. Planning holiday activities together with your partner and their family ensures enjoyable shared experiences. Lastly, set aside time to check in with each other and unwind from the holiday hustle bustle.”

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