Zerodha founder Nikhil Kamath on being child-free: ‘What if he says scr** you at 18 and leave…’

In a recent episode of his podcast ‘WTF is’, Zerodha founder Nikhil Kamath opened up about his decision to not have children, citing concerns about potentially ruining 18-20 years of his life. 

“I’m going to ruin 18-20 years of my life babysitting this child and then if luck serves me right, the reverse will happen at some point. What if he says ‘scr** you’ at 18 and leave anyway,” he said

Asserting that he does not believe in leaving a “legacy” behind, he added, “I think we all feel we are more important than we actually are… you are born and you die like every other animal on the planet and then you are gone and nobody remembers anybody.”

In India, many couples share their beliefs with Kamath as they are choosing to not have kids. According to a 2022 article published in Firstpost, “Despite the nascent state of sex education and mental health awareness in the country, young adults in India are starting to assert that marriage and children are a choice, and not an expectation.”

This choice raises important questions about the psychological impact of opting for a child-free life. Many people wonder about the reasons behind such decisions and how they shape individuals’ lives and happiness. 

Common psychological factors in the decision to remain child-free

Neha Cadabam, senior psychologist and executive director at Cadabam Hospitals, explains, “One of the primary psychological factors influencing the decision to remain child-free is the desire for autonomy and personal freedom. Research indicates that individuals value the ability to pursue personal interests, career goals, and lifestyle choices without the constraints of parenthood.”

Without the pressures and responsibilities of parenting, child-free individuals may experience lower levels of stress and anxiety, contributing to better mental health and well-being. (Source: Freepik)

People who choose to remain child-free often perceive parenthood as a significant commitment that may interfere with their personal and professional aspirations. This perception, she explains, can stem from observing the experiences of others and recognising the demands and sacrifices associated with raising children.

Concerns about overpopulation, environmental sustainability, and ethical considerations regarding bringing children into a world facing significant global challenges are also influential factors. These concerns reflect a broader awareness and responsibility towards global issues.

The financial burden of raising children is another critical factor, reveals Cadabam. “Studies show that the cost of child-rearing can significantly impact an individual’s or couple’s decision to remain child-free, as they may prioritise financial stability and independence.”

Psychological benefits and drawbacks of a child-free lifestyle

Cadabam agrees that individuals who choose a child-free life often report higher levels of personal fulfillment and satisfaction, deriving meaning from careers, hobbies, and relationships (Connidis & McMullin, 1993). “This aligns with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, where self-actualisation is achieved through personal and professional achievements.”

Without the pressures and responsibilities of parenting, child-free individuals may experience lower levels of stress and anxiety, contributing to better mental health and well-being.

The ability to make spontaneous decisions and engage in diverse life experiences without the constraints of children, she says, can enhance life satisfaction and overall happiness .

On the flip side, choosing a child-free lifestyle can lead to social isolation, especially in cultures where parenthood is highly valued. This isolation can stem from a lack of shared experiences with peers who are parents .“Some individuals may experience regret or feelings of missing out, particularly if societal expectations or familial pressures are strong. This can lead to internal conflict and a reassessment of life choices,” Cadabam remarks. 

Navigating societal judgment and familial expectations

Cadabam recommends, “Individuals who choose a child-free lifestyle can benefit from seeking support from like-minded communities and support groups. These groups provide validation and a sense of belonging, reducing feelings of isolation and judgment.”

Open communication with family and friends about one’s decision can help mitigate misunderstandings and reduce societal pressure. Setting clear boundaries, she stresses, is crucial to maintaining mental health and personal integrity 

Engaging with mental health professionals can offer valuable support and strategies for coping with societal judgment and familial expectations. Therapy can help individuals navigate feelings of guilt or inadequacy and reinforce their decision.

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