When Katrina Kaif revealed biggest learnings from her relationships: ‘It’s not about giving away your power…’

Actor Katrina Kaif doesn’t shy away from speaking her mind during interviews. As such, in an episode of Koffee with Karan season 6 — a clip of which is currently doing the round on social media — she spoke about the lessons she had learned from her past relationships. 

One of the lessons, she said, was understanding the importance of personal independence within relationships, highlighting that no one else is responsible for an individual’s happiness. “I think my biggest learning in my relationships is that nobody else is responsible for your happiness.” 

She adds, “It’s not about giving away your power. It’s that you’re burdening that person with that responsibility, and I don’t believe anybody can take that responsibility for a long period of time.”

 

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Kaif’s perspective underscores a fundamental truth often overlooked in romantic partnerships: while love and companionship are essential, maintaining a sense of self-reliance and autonomy is equally crucial for personal growth and fulfillment. 

Contribution of personal independence to happiness and fulfillment

Neha Cadabam, senior psychologist and executive director at Cadabams says, “Prioritising personal independence within a relationship enhances happiness and fulfillment by allowing each partner to maintain their sense of self. 

This autonomy supports personal growth and reduces the likelihood of emotional dependency, she agrees, which can lead to resentment and stifled personal development. 

Independence ensures that both partners can engage with each other from a place of wholeness rather than neediness, fostering a healthier, more balanced relationship.

Practical ways to maintain independence in a relationship

Maintaining independence while nurturing a strong relationship involves setting aside time for personal interests and hobbies, maintaining social circles outside the relationship, and having personal goals. 

“It’s also crucial to establish boundaries that respect personal space and privacy. Open communication about needs and expectations can help in balancing closeness with personal freedom, ensuring both partners feel supported yet free,” Cadabam advises. 

Self reliance and autonomy in a relationship boost self-esteem and confidence. (Source: Freepik)

Challenges and misconceptions about independence in relationships

According to Cadabam, a common misconception is that seeking independence means a lack of commitment or distancing oneself from the partner. “This can lead to challenges such as one partner feeling neglected or insecure.”

To navigate these issues, she recommends openly discussing what independence means to each partner and how it can be integrated into the relationship. 

Benefits of self-reliance and autonomy

Psychologically, Cadabam explains, self reliance and autonomy in a relationship boost self-esteem and confidence. They allow individuals to feel competent and capable in their right, which contributes to a healthier self-image. 

“Autonomy also reduces the pressure on the relationship to meet all of an individual’s emotional and psychological needs, which can lead to more sustainable and less burdensome partnerships. Furthermore, it encourages a dynamic where partners choose to be together for mutual benefit and satisfaction rather than out of dependency,” she shares. 

Incorporating these aspects of independence not only strengthens the relationship but also enriches the individual experiences of the partners involved, leading to more robust and fulfilling partnerships.

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