How passionately do you love your partner? This psychological test might help you find out (Take it inside!)

Love is a complex emotion without which most relationships would lack meaning. When it comes to our romantic partners, love is one of the most important emotions we need to feel towards them to make it work; as relationships come with their set of unavoidable challenges.

Today, with so many relationship coaches giving advice on social media and new dating terms emerging almost on a daily basis, many people wonder if there’s a way to measure how deeply they feel for their partner. 

This is where the ‘passionate love test’ comes into play. It is a tool designed by psychologists to assess the intensity of passionate feelings in a romantic relationship, and aims to capture the excitement, longing, and strong emotional connection that characterise passionate love.

To understand this test better, we spoke to counselling psychologist and heal your life coach Damini Grover along with celebrity counsellor, mental health advocate and psychologist, Raashi Gurnani.

How do you define “passionate love” in the context of relationships?

Gurnani says, “Passionate love, from a psychological standpoint, refers to an intense and overwhelming emotional state characterised by strong feelings of desire, excitement, and infatuation towards another person. It often involves a deep longing for closeness and connection, as well as heightened physical attraction.”

“It refers to an intense, fervent, and often consuming emotional state characterised by strong physical attraction, infatuation, desire, and emotional connection between partners,” explains Grover.

Is the passionate love test effective?

The effectiveness of the passionate love test or similar assessments in measuring the intensity or depth of passionate love between partners depends on various factors, Grover says, including the validity and reliability of the test itself, as well as the complexity and subjectivity of passionate love. 

Gurnani explains, “But they don’t tell the whole story. Things like how well you communicate, how compatible you are, and your long-term commitment are just as important for understanding your relationship’s depth.”

Concurring, Grover continues that while such tests may provide some insight into the presence of passionate feelings within a relationship, they may not capture the full spectrum or nuances of individuals’ experiences.

Cultural or demographic factors can influence the outcomes of the passionate love test (Source: Freepik)

What specific components or factors does the passionate love test assess?

The passionate love test assesses components like infatuation, desire, and longing for closeness, Gurnani says, providing insights into the intensity of emotional and physical attraction in romantic relationships. 

It is limited by self-reporting bias, cultural differences, and its narrow focus on emotional aspects, overlooking other crucial factors like commitment and compatibility. It should be used alongside other measures for a comprehensive understanding of relationships.

Grover also asserts, “Limitations and biases of such scales may include cultural biases, social desirability bias, and the inability to account for individual differences in the expression and experience of passionate love.”

Cultural or demographic factors that can influence the outcomes of this test

Cultural or demographic factors can indeed influence the outcomes of the passionate love test, says Grover, such as cultural norms, values, and relationship dynamics vary across different populations. 

“The test should ideally accommodate diverse expressions and experiences of love by considering cultural differences in romantic ideals, gender roles, and relationship expectations. This may involve adapting the test items and interpretation criteria to be culturally sensitive and inclusive.” she adds.

Gurnani agrees, “Different cultures have their own ways of showing and experiencing love. The test should be designed to respect these differences by using language and examples that are relevant to diverse cultural backgrounds.”

Alternative assessments or measures that provide a more comprehensive view of romantic love in relationships

Gurnani lists the other ways psychologists assess romantic love in relationships:

Relationship Satisfaction Scales: These measure how happy people are with their relationship, including things like communication and how they solve problems together.

Attachment Style Questionnaires: These look at how people connect with others based on their past experiences. This can affect how they love and relate to their partner.

Compatibility Assessments: These check how well partners’ values, goals, and lifestyles match up. It helps understand if they’re a good fit for each other.

Commitment Scales: These measure how dedicated people are to their relationship and if they see it lasting long-term.

Passionate love test

Quiz by Raashi Gurnani — celebrity psychologist and founder at Let’s Talk Mind, Mumbai

Instructions

Think of the person you are in love with and keep them in mind as you answer the following questions. Your responses will remain anonymous.

For each statement, indicate whether it applies to your feelings toward the person you love by selecting “Yes” or “No.”

Interpretation

Yes: Your responses suggest you are deeply and passionately in love. Parts of your brain associated with the reward system, such as the ventral tegmental area and caudate nucleus, are likely highly active when you think about your beloved.

No: Your feelings towards your partner may be more akin to those you have towards a friend or neutral acquaintance. While there may still be activity in the brain regions associated with recognising familiar faces, it may not reflect the intense passion associated with romantic love.

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