How to build a secure foundation for lasting relationships

In a world where relationships can be as complex as they are rewarding, establishing a secure foundation is paramount. Whether you’re starting a new relationship or looking to strengthen an existing one, certain principles remain universal. Recently, Sadaf Siddiqi, a psychotherapist, shared valuable insights on Instagram, explaining the top 5 ways to create a secure relationship.

“If you’re struggling in a romantic relationship, reflect on where you and your partner are in these areas,” she wrote in the caption.

1. Holding yourself and your partner accountable

According to Siddiqi, accountability is key. Apologising for mistakes and making an effort to be reliable and consistent are ways to hold oneself accountable. On the other hand, holding your partner accountable involves not ignoring red flags and being direct when their words and actions don’t align.

2. Managing conflict instead of avoiding it

Avoiding conflict can manifest as “giving the silent treatment, not expressing your needs or ‘walking on eggshells’ (being careful to not offend or upset someone),” warns Siddiqi. To manage conflicts effectively, she suggests setting boundaries, listening to understand, and separating the person from the problem.

3. Getting comfortable being alone or close

Siddiqi emphasises that healthy independence in a relationship stems from developing a strong sense of identity outside of the partnership. Finding fulfillment not only from relationship goals but also personal goals is essential for a well-rounded connection.

4. Respecting your needs as much as your partner’s

In secure relationships, Siddiqi advises setting and honouring boundaries between both partners. “This can look like expressing what is not okay with you and also accepting when your partner says ‘no’ to you.”

5. Actively regulating your emotions daily

Siddiqi urges that in secure relationships, each person is responsible for their own reactions. This involves asking for space when triggered, learning how to self-soothe, and being vulnerable.

 

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A post shared by Sadaf Siddiqi (@your.being) 

Adding to this, Sidhharrth S Kumaar, relationship coach, NumroVani told indianexpress.com that the beginning of securing a relationship starts with knowing your partner and yourself. “Self-awareness about your own likes and dislikes, understanding your partner’s love language, and thought patterns can give an edge in relationships.”

Kumaar further advises on curating your love language, transparent and authentic communication, and expressing gratitude, which are crucial elements for building a strong and secure relationship. “By developing and expressing your love language, you allow for deeper, more meaningful, and customised displays of affection in your partnership. Being open and honest in sharing your needs and ideas helps build trust and rapport. And showing your partner how much you value them through your words and deeds makes your relationship stronger.“

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