Delusionship decoded: Dissecting Gen Z’s 2023 term for a remixed version of reality

As you scroll through Instagram, TikTok or X, you are likely to have come across the “delulu” trend. In a nutshell, this refers to a situation where individuals, especially those in Gen Z, engage in envisioning an improved reality – a blissful “delusionship” – for instance, a stellar career.

“Delulu”, as it is also referred to, serves as a manifestation technique, and intriguingly, immersing oneself in these positive imaginings is said to foster a sense of tranquillity and equilibrium. At the workplace, this translates to essentially tricking yourself into believing that you are better suited for a job than reality might suggest. The term was initially used with romantic connotations, as in the courtship that you imagine with your crush and which solely exists in your fancy.

TikTok and Instagram have become a canvas where many youngsters showcase how this sprinkle of self-deception has propelled them along their career trajectories. Should you discover that you are increasingly turning to the delulu trend as a coping mechanism in your daily work routine, it might be time to pose some challenging questions to yourself.

It provides an escape from the fear of missing out or FOMO.

Roots in fanfiction
The term “delusionship” has its roots in fan fiction, a realm where creative minds freely re-imagine narratives without constraints, driven not only by the desire for wish fulfilment but also a yearning for recognition and financial gain. Historically tied to ancient myths and vivid imaginations, delusionships have evolved into a modern coping mechanism, finding fertile ground for expression on the internet.

In conversation with indianexpress.com counselling psychologist Gargi Dagar, founder of Gurgaon-based iSpeak Psychological Services, and clinical psychologist Saumya Sharan, founder of The Pink Elephant, shed light on the dynamic loop of storytelling and the perpetual quest for the perfect ending.

Saumya underscores the influence of social media in shaping narratives, describing ‘delulu’ as a potent tool subtly moulding the perceptions of a digitally connected audience. “From what I understand of the term, I think it’s been given a playful and lighter connotation in terms of delulu – and the way happiness is to shift a little from reality,” she says.

Gargi shares, “The term itself, blending “delusional” with a more playful element like “lulu,” may have a psychologically appealing quality. It combines seriousness with a hint of humour, making it potentially more memorable and engaging for users.”

We could not resist asking Gen Z for their take. Here’s what they think.

According to Kolkata-based Anushka Guha, 25, “Delusionships take on intriguing forms, driven by unrealistic desires. I think it is also used in the context of relationships and originally started with reference to obsessive fans, and essentially incorporating the idea that sometimes we need to make subtle shifts from reality (especially the harsh parts of it) to be able to live a life which leads us towards joy and satisfaction.”

Gargi further delves into its psychology, stating, “I think we are living in times where instant gratification and a happy state of mind now matters more than delayed gratification.”

Medha Kartha, 22, management trainee at The Mavericks India in Bengaluru, reflects on platforms like Wattpad and Ao3 – where one gets to read fanfiction – as the breeding grounds for delusionships, providing an escape from the fear of missing out (FOMO) and offering solace in imaginary relationships. She notes the dangers as well, saying, “Delusionships can be pretty dangerous as well. I’ve read a couple of posts on Reddit quoting how fans would attack/stalk their idols because in their head, they would be in a relationship. If you are a BTS fan, you already know.”

Coping mechanism

‘Delulu’ for Gen Z transcends mere mental escapism; it functions as a coping mechanism for unresolved choices and navigating tangible life uncertainties. Tanisha Bhattacharjee, 24, a management trainee at Gnothi Seauton in Bengaluru, underscores its significance in tackling issues of abandonment and commitment, enabling this generation to construct idealised relationships in their mental landscapes.

“But at times, individuals may begin embodying the delulu or clinging onto hope excessively, hindering personal and emotional growth. This prolonged attachment can prove detrimental to the mental well-being of the individual immersed in the delulu,” they say.

Delusional thinking might make it challenging to accept the reality of a situation.

Gargi breaks it down even further, “Without any research or data in hand, it is difficult to say whether there are any cognitive or emotional patterns, but one thing which is observable by the content floating on the internet is that there are certain cognitive and emotional patterns that psychologists may associate with individuals who exhibit tendencies toward delusional thinking or engage in what might be termed “delusionships.” Keep in mind that individual experiences vary, and not everyone who displays these patterns will necessarily fit this description.”

Here are some general tendencies highlighted by Gargi:

Idealisation: People prone to delusional thinking may idealise their partners or the idea of a relationship to an extent that is not grounded in reality. They may create an idealised version of their partner that doesn’t align with the person’s actual traits and behaviours.

Confirmation bias: Individuals with a propensity for delusion-ships might selectively focus on information that confirms their positive beliefs about the relationship while disregarding or minimising any negative aspects. This can create a skewed perception of reality.

Avoidance of contradictory information: Those susceptible to delusional thinking may actively avoid or dismiss information that challenges their idealised view of the relationship. This can lead to a lack of awareness about potential issues or problems.

Escapism: Engaging in delusionships may serve as a form of escapism from reality or difficulties in one’s life. The idealised relationship becomes a way to avoid facing challenges or dealing with personal issues.

Low self-esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem may be more prone to engaging in delusion-ships as a way to feel better about themselves. The idealised relationship can serve as a source of validation and self-worth.

Fear of loneliness: Some individuals may be driven by a strong fear of being alone, leading them to create or perpetuate an idealised version of a relationship even when it does not reflect the actual dynamics.

Lack of boundaries: People susceptible to delusionships might struggle with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. They may be overly accommodating or tolerant of behaviours that should be red flags in a relationship.

Difficulty accepting reality: Individuals who engage in delusional thinking may find it challenging to accept the reality of a situation, especially if it involves acknowledging flaws in the relationship or in their partner.

Gargi concluded the conversation with the statement, “Observing the trend’s popularity, it is clear that it will continue to thrive in 2024. The impact on Gen Z will involve ‘creating a reality’ for personal emotional well-being, potentially resulting in divergent perceptions of reality. This could strain relationships, as individuals prioritise their unique interpretations, leading to a breakdown in communication on certain topics. People may avoid confronting alternate realities outside their ‘delulu’ state due to fear.”

As we roll into 2024, let’s keep it real, keep it a little delulu, and let the good vibes flow!

Disclaimer: The copyright of this article belongs to the original author. Reposting this article is solely for the purpose of information dissemination and does not constitute any investment advice. If there is any infringement, please contact us immediately. We will make corrections or deletions as necessary. Thank you.