How does the human ego impact relationships?

In the complex web of psychology, the concept of human ego and its implications are widely discussed. Central to our comprehension of self-awareness and interpersonal relations, the ego is a pivotal construct that shapes our actions in profound ways.

Neha Cadabam, senior psychologist and executive director at Cadabams Hospitals says, “Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, is largely credited with introducing the concept of the ego. He proposed a three-part personality structure: the id (primitive drives and desires), the superego (internalised moral code), and the ego.”

 

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She elaborates, “The ego acts as the mediator between these two opposing forces, navigating the demands of our instincts with the constraints of reality and societal norms. Through interactions with caregivers and the environment, the ego develops a sense of self, separate from others.”

Role ego plays in shaping our interactions with others (Source: Freepik)

Cadabam says that the ego forms through our interactions with the world, starting in early childhood. As we learn to recognise ourselves as separate entities with distinct thoughts and feelings, the ego solidifies.

It also shapes our sense of self-worth, competence, and identity, and allows us to say “I am” and provides a sense of continuity throughout our lives.

The role ego plays in shaping our interactions with others

The ego significantly shapes how we interact with others. It allows us to empathise with others while also maintaining healthy boundaries.

Cadabam asserts that it helps us navigate social situations, seeking approval and recognition from others. “Our ego can also contribute to feelings of competition and comparison. It influences how we perceive the world around us, filtering information through the lens of our self-concept.”

A healthy ego allows us to stand up for ourselves while respecting others. Conversely, an inflated ego can lead to arrogance and difficulty in forming healthy bonds.

She also underscores the role of cultural and societal influences in shaping ego development, noting that cultural values dictate the expression of ego and interpersonal dynamics.

Developing a healthier relationship with your ego

Developing a healthy relationship with your ego is key to emotional well-being. Some of the ways to develop a healthier relationship with ego suggested by Cadabam are:

*Self-Awareness: Practice mindfulness and introspection to understand your ego’s motivations and how it impacts your thoughts and behaviours.

*Acceptance: Acknowledge both your strengths and weaknesses. Embrace your imperfections as part of being human.

*Compassion: Extend kindness and understanding not just to others but also to yourself.

*Growth Mindset: View challenges as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than threats to your self-esteem.

*Balance: Strive for a balance between self-confidence and humility. Recognise your worth while acknowledging your limitations.

*Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Don’t let your ego define you through self-criticism. Cultivate self-compassion and acceptance.

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